Verses following the Trial of the Earl of Castlehaven 1631 Introduction A full account of the trial of the Earl of Castlehaven in 1631 for sodomy with his menservants and assistance in the rape of his wife, for which he was beheaded and two of his menservants were hanged, is published elsewhere on this site. The following verses are some of the examples of popular bawdy literature that the trial inspired. Rictor Norton The Epitaph I need no trophies to adorn my hearse My wife exalts my horns in every verse And placed them so full upon my tomb That for my arms there is no vacant room Who will take such a Countess to his bed That first gives horns and then cuts off the head? Responsio Tis true you need no trophies to adorn your hearse Your life being odious and below all verse Nor was it your wife who came chaste to your bed That did you horn; your own hands horned your head Twas fit your head should of them most men censure That you that lived so, should die a monster. The Lady's Answer Blame no your wife, for what yourself has wrought You caused your horns in forcing me to nought For had you been but human, not a beast Your arms had been supporters to your crest Nor need you yet have had a tomb or hearse Besmeared with your sensual life in verse Who then would take such a lord into her bed That to gain horns himself, would lose his head. My Lord High Steward his grace With many a rich mace Came guarded into the Palace And with a pair of scales did weigh Each word he did say To keep his oration in ballace. To tell you no lie He liked the canopy So well, and the chair he sat in That my Lord High Steward still Tis thought with a good will He could have been contented to have been. The Red Flap of the Law, next Was to handle the text And his part was to open the door. But mark the disaster My lord's grace his master Had taken up all before. The Attorney now began Upon his legs to stand Extolling the happiness of the King That had lived so many years And not one of his peers Had committed so vile a thing. And trust me twas strange Of all that great range That sat it out that day That not one of them all Should at some times fall Wander or go a stray. He used much scripture text Which many there perplexed Who did not think it possible That a man of his trade Who so much profit had made Should be so well read in the Bible. But the oration was witty And truly twas pity He did not longer stand For by the quotations in the Law He showed he was not raw To matters that then were at hand. The Solicitor most wise Did lift up his eyes And to my Lord Steward his grace And in spite of his Majesty For and his great canopy Did look him full in face. Then he declared What might have been spared That the fault was abominandum And was beholding many ways To the old English phrase Sir Reverence non nominandum. The prisoner now Had leave to show Concerning the rape of his wife How that he did it not But conceived it a plot To take away him and his life. But alas twas in vain Himself for to strain Since the Judges delivered in Plano That to know by the touch Was even just as much As if it had been in Ano. It's thought their trunk hose Did also suppose That in concubilu cum faeminis There might be a rape If lust made an escape per ejectionem seminis. But sure in this case No dishonor to the place Competent judges they were none For by the close of their beards Twas more than to be feared They were Eunuchs every one. Sir Thomas Fanshaw I'll swear Above all that were there By no means must be left out For he fasted twelve hours and more And two days before To be able to turn round about. (See also the Castlehaven trial, my analysis of the trial, and the trial of Broadway and Fitz-Patrick.) SOURCE: Manuscript texts printed in the Appendix to Cynthia B. Herrup, A House in Gross Disorder: Sex, Law, and the 2nd Earl of Castlehaven (1999); with modernized punctuation and printing conventions. CITATION: If you cite this Web page, please use the following citation: Rictor Norton (Ed.), "Verses following the Trial of the Earl of Castlehaven, 1631", Homosexuality in Eighteenth-Century England: A Sourcebook. 27 September 2001, updated 15 June 2008 <http://www.rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1631touc.htm>. Return to Homosexuality in Eighteenth-Century England